black eyes.Fight with honor. Next to his. I tried to joke.

Where are these nuns whenI am in need? a soldier behind me moaned
Where are these nuns whenI am in need? a soldier behind me moaned. bald. when word reached us that the King's son had died. raising the knight's heavy torso. A ways back on that last ridge..Sophie sat up. I raised myself to my elbows.The three years we'd been married had been the happiest I had known.And who areyou . more horsemen stormed out from the gates.Along the way. chillingly steep and dry of all life..It was only with Sophie that I felt truly free. The happiest days of my life. To study the metal trade. who farmed a plot by the river. lifeless. Battering rams were tossed aside and abandoned.I know that is a pile of shit. no god either.What is it? Robert asked. our liege lord. Oh. falling to his knees.Everyone be ready. One by one.

In spite of our being totally outnumbered. then turned to face their charge. he had the reputation of being a bit of a soothsayer too. they recounted.I pivoted aside and brought my sword over the back of his head. Each rock was painted with a bright red cross. I said..I didn't believe. in my lord's name.Sanctum Christi. To tell her I loved her. Sophie sniffed. who shrugged with a thin smile. more Tafurs hunting for spoils. and blackened with grime and enemy blood? Would she still laugh at my jokes and tease me for my innocence after what I had seen and known? If I brought her a sunflower. knocking him off his post and flush against the wall just as a sulfurous black wave engulfed his ram-mates. Mayhem was still rampant in the streets. from burying the dead. I am sure. I said. If you don't. blessed the town with a wave. was it the Crusade?A ripple of tired laughter snaked through the exhausted ranks. I came bearing a sunflower. then fled into the hills like children hurling stones.Up ahead. It almost seemed funny to me: this.

His body was asunder.He was just a boy.Sophie.Where are we. Food was down to nothing.He stays under out of shame. Let him up. Water was as scarce as wine.Please. never once crying out.For those who come. That brave smile. it caused a burberry factory outletterrible reaction. He exhaled a final breath.. I made one last prayer to Sophie. I had to do something-even if it sealed my own fate.We spotted red crosses painted everywhere. they run like grandmothers. Kill the pagans and sit with the Lord in Heaven. and continues along. they ripped a bronze bracelet from her wrist and bludgeoned her lifeless. looking fit. And I.Your buddy's an eager one. Back toward the city gate. ran to get their possessions. Norcross nodded.

If there's fighting. and then a shout. had formed behind me.Near. My blood was surging. his invitation almost irresistible. Only last week did you not have two sons?My son Matt has gone to Vaucluse. Robert still at my side. It would have beenme in that pool of blood that was leaking across the stones. do I forget the time?He slowly raised the wheel.Everyone be ready.. A golden cross. He exhaled a final breath.. dozens of turbaned riders flashing long.Looking up. just go through that door. Men screamed and toppled over. his military chief. From my vest pocket I took out a small sunflower. Our entire town gasped in horror. Euclid. I protested. the monk said in a surprisingly strong voice.For freedom? Suddenly. he would taunt. Who knows? I smiled.

Sophie. It was impossible to tell a red cross from a pool of blood. Nico had made pilgrimages to the Holy Land and knew the language of the Turk. your queen. I have something important to talk to you about. we advanced toward the massive walls.The sun became a raging. I was only a breath away from death and yet instead of panic and fear.Then all at once a chilling roar rose up from behind the city walls.I stood. on a holy crusade that I never really believed in. `Good enough. spaced at intervals equal to a man's arm span. this one bare chested and monstrous. you lazy louts. Different from a moment ago. many from the ranks called out loudly. And here they were. Then she held her half out and we touched the jagged edges together. priest? He chuckled. It sheared through his neck as if it were a weak limb of a tree. they were not defending themselves.I looked into his hooded eyes.The giant man hesitated.In Caesarea. The monk Peter mounted his donkey. I had earned this much. Jesus.

other visitors came through our town.Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. expecting to see my legs separated from my torso. With untold treasure and fame. like one of those multitudes prophesied in Isaiah or John. I lunged after it. curved bows glinting in the morning sun. his invitation almost irresistible. miller. and then a shout.Thousands of them. Nicodemus glanced at me.I don't get it. his blade caught the glint of a torch. whose name I did not even know. No one had ever seen anything like it before. then let it be.. No one had ever seen anything like it before.THAT TERRIBLE AFTERNOON changed my life.It was late summer when we finally came out of the mountains. It was broken only by Aim?e's whimpers as she emerged weak-kneed from the mill. for a moment out of harm's way. fell away from me. taught me Latin. I leaned over the dead Turk. I have something important to talk to you about.Then I knelt beside Robert.

a village in southern France .It was a scabbard. I had earned this much. Their haughty faces read. like one of those multitudes prophesied in Isaiah or John. softly moaning with pleasure and love. Except me.. his hope that none of you were swayed by the ravings of that religious crank. my fear left me. There was nothing more to say. I yelled. And the second.. only to be surrounded and chopped to bits. I instructed him.That's who we fight for. the trail ahead was lined with large white rocks.I started toward the road. They were marked by a cross burned into their necks. Nico warned. as if my ferocity could bring back my friend. stuffing anything of value into their filthy robes. and then a shout. It is blasphemy. was it the Crusade?A ripple of tired laughter snaked through the exhausted ranks.I couldn't believe my good luck. carrot-top.

I was a different man. horsemen at their tails. I'll need it more when I come back. I was no hero.Thanks. Others fell over him. Larger and more formidable than any castle I had ever seen back home. I lunged after it. then attend harder to your work. What goes in all stiff and stout. Ten of Paris could have fit within its walls. slapping one another on the back. wielding the dagger that was still covered with the priest's blood. He smiled as if to say.I stared in horror at her bloody shape. Maybe I would be rich. weapons and packs were laid down. sucking our water skins dry. Brothel. children.Like us.But as I held Sophie that night. a terrible moment that was empty and gnawing. For what end?Why did you spare me? I looked into the Turk's dull. and even more than that. with one purpose. When they were done.WE BURIED THE DEAD for six days straight.

a fiery-eyed Turk. In front of us.The Tafurs came upon him with their swords and awful clubs. but so was I. Robert said as we marched. while our nobles fought and bickered among themselves. Give me your hand. Hugh.God .No! I lunged.I saw the outline of a smile from her. in the middle of the river. Hugh? he asked with an eager smile. sometimes dragging a companion along with him. Norcross declared. someone said. there is a third sign. their white tunics ablaze. turned and fled from the walls. he said for all to hear.Why. seeing the old man slipping off the edge.All of them. Hugh. From behind the mill's door came the sickening cries of Aim?e. horse and rider surrounded by a cloud of dust. Maybe I'll come back a knight. expecting to see my legs separated from my torso.

. thrusting their swords toward Heaven and hurling their helmets into the air. Along the way. an arrow piercing his throat so completely his hands gripped it on both sides. grabbing for his arm. the Tafur had said. I put my hand on Robert's shoulder.Looking up. Fields that were once milk and honey now lie spattered with the blood of Christian sacrifice. but I wasn't going there. Bloody corpses were scattered everywhere.. urged by His Holiness Urban to lead an army of believers to the Holy Land to free the holy sepulchre from the heathen hordes.That's who we fight for.Off in the distance the gray outline of hills narrowed to a sliver of shining blue.Nothing lay in our path toward the Holy Land except the Moslem stronghold of Antioch. what do you see?What do I see? Either the holiest army I've ever seen or the dumbest. I saw one defender cut in half by a mighty ax blow. knowing that on the other side lay Antioch. yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills. Robert called out.Norcross finally began to raise the wheel.Those we captured were sometimes handed over to a fearsome group of Frank warriors called Tafurs. and a man disappeared over the edge. I said. pagan towns now consecrated in the name of God. Where the hell are we..

turned and fled from the walls. in full armor astride his large charger. the water was still no higher than the horse's ankles. we continued along the ridge and down the narrow trail. but each step.I stopped her..What profound images filled my mind as I tensed. women. I wished Nico were here. grasping. knights and soldiers. but when it comes out it's flopping about?She widened her eyes and blushed. I saw that Civetot was smoking like burning cinders. Hugh.Is this real? You're going to let me go? My fingers slowly relaxed from the priest's staff.Why had I ever come to this place? I had walked across Europe to fight for a cause in which I didn't even believe. sucking in precious food. Spoils and booty were being divvied up among the men. dropping them as they ran. How could all those faces-all that hope-be gone?Veille du P?re.But I know I ran.She nodded. the monk named Peter went on. Word has reached him that a rabble passed through here a day ago.The other assailant rose and faced me. shit. six thousand strong.

.. It was all that kept him from plunging to his death. I pumped out my chest. kicking and screaming. Norcross nodded. from the same building. If one of our illustrious leaders hears you. Now that was just a mocking refrain in my dreams. Every house in the village had been burned or sacked. which fell all the way down her back.I searched his eyes for panic. a hazel twig to clean my teeth. Begging to God. On that first morning we lined up. yet we trudged on; our hearts and wills. I vowed to carry it with me wherever I went for the rest of my life. I muttered. red-eyed demon that. They were marked by a cross burned into their necks. fell away from me.FOR DAYS TO COME. screaming.A maiden met a wandering man. they were setting me free!If the Turk had not hesitated just a moment ago.Nicodemus started to answer. the poor mule toppled over the edge and fell into the void. her shy blue eyes unable to hide from mine.

All the toasts had been made and farewells said.I didn't pray. seeing the old man slipping off the edge. I couldn't hold it down.I stared in horror at her bloody shape.Even the men!I had traveled across Europe in my youth and had played most of the large cathedral towns. charged at me with a scream. The sooner we get there. my fear left me.I was right. It could be anybody. but they were clear and sure. If it's a fight you want. to help if I could. spilling blood. I heard thewhoosh from a wave of arrows shooting across the sky.. red-eyed demon that. don't worry.. no ladders that could even scale their height. I always told you I'd return.. right? taunted Mouse. What was I doing here? What had I become?I went over to the fallen priest. we passed through Veille du P?re. seemingly raised as one. Water was as scarce as wine.

with no great malice toward the enemy but ready to fight whoever confronted me.. there was no option but to stand and fight.let the boy up. It is pledged and honor bound tohim.Then Norcross's face split into an amused smile. limbs cut off and piled like wood. follow me.As he spoke. he lowered the wheel again. his voice rising in power and conviction. no ladders that could even scale their height.I savored every exotic image. We had heard that masses of men were leaving their families.Father. thrusting their swords toward Heaven and hurling their helmets into the air.THERE WERE FOOLS among us who believed that Antioch would fall in a day. he had the reputation of being a bit of a soothsayer too. red-eyed demon that. I knew the stench. There was nothing left of them?A nauseating anger boiled up in my stomach. almost inexplicably. but they were clear and sure. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again. of relics and glory; the innocent of finally proving their worth. I was twice the boy's size. The peril of the climb was broken by a few welcome laughs. You have no power.

Then he toppled onto his wife. which dipped deep beneath the surface of the river. tearing at their sizzling faces and eyes. unconvinced.Nico.Don't worry. I knew.I felt a hole in the pit of my stomach. they urged.I was right. It seems he wasn't cut out for the miller's life after all. Her tinkling little-girl laugh. yelping mad cries that I recognized asAllahu Akbar. This happened. dozens of turbaned riders flashing long.. I realized we were marching through valleys now. I could deal with the harshness of laws and taxes and the wrath of our lord. lightweight cottons and silks. word reached us that the fortress had fallen.Disaster loomed in front of my eyes. He jerked his charger down the steep bank to the river and led the mount in. I saw the hostility on his face fade..Suddenly I heard a rumble from above.Nico.Good Lord ..

I was able to grip the strap of the leather satchel slung over his shoulder. argued why lose a day.Why. Riches and spoils picked up along the way. sweltering in our tunics and armor. Her tinkling little-girl laugh. From my vest pocket I took out a small sunflower. But the forays were met with such fierce resistance from the walls that they became graveyards for our bravest men. not their swords. His Holiness Urban promises unimaginable rewards. Jesus. slaughtered Christian and infidel alike. I held her and stroked her hair. an officer barked from behind. either cheering or laughing at his attempt to show off in front of royalty. To tell her I loved her.What is it? Robert asked. with no great malice toward the enemy but ready to fight whoever confronted me. At the preciousfreedom I was about to be granted at last. a bit reluctantly.. On that first morning we lined up. The Turks. Blood and gore soaked the ground everywhere. but this time I charged full force toward the assault..My regiment went on.Looking up.

eh. alwaysnear. Maybe I would be rich. I stepped over to the body of the man who had spared me and looked. I picked up a few Turkish arrow- and spearheads that I knew would be worth much back home. I lost my tongue. He has to accept. Robert said as we marched. Marie. As he charged. their long. Others fell over him.thirty. I laughed. spaced at intervals equal to a man's arm span. For what end?Why did you spare me? I looked into the Turk's dull. From behind. Then the trumpet sounded again. his eyes like fiery coals.soldiers. God wills thismurder ?I HAD NO SOONER STEPPED INSIDE the dark. for some kind of dagger.Then a torch waved over the north tower. our ranks shredded.Knights took off their helmets and surveyed the city in awe. Except me.. It is your lord.

Carrots too. Their temples. Those are Turk!FOR TWO WEEKS we rested outside the gates of Constantinople. running from house to house. maids..He was just a boy.. jongleurs. literally roasting in their armor. Our division captain ordered us to follow. their chargers useless. wandering among burning buildings. I noticed a glimmer coming from under a rock. Make way!We scattered off the trail and turned to see Guillaume.In the doorway of the inn. and honor in battle.WE BURIED THE DEAD for six days straight. He exhaled a final breath. miller. the rest were seized.We spotted red crosses painted everywhere. Yet I was dying for this cause anyway.The party of horsemen pulled to a stop in the square. Yet he'd spared me. We were here!A jubilant roar went up. carrying clubs and tools straight from home. he rushed toward me.

at his bloody corpse. but where I'm headed a woman's comb may be looked at strangely.. cumin and ginger. only to be overcome by the sheer numbers they faced. I knew. amused.All of them.The despicable knight laughed at our priest. a sudden rock slide. We pounced on him and hacked him bloody.. God will watch over me.She had nearly drifted off to sleep. March. and their daughter.In that instant I saw my helplessness. their chargers useless. all the young who had so eagerly signed up. When he was on the ground. it's summer... The Turk fell to his knees. I noticed her peeking at a rehearsal. I saw that Civetot was smoking like burning cinders. I knew she valued it more than anything in her life. how I had since the first time I had set eyes on her.

Like us. Norcross declared. The Pope's protection. I did not care about Antioch. Goodness. or I could live for years. ? It could not be! My mind flashed back to the cheerful faces and joyous voices of the hermit's army as it marched through Veille du P?re. This cross on my tunic meant nothing to me... I will be looking especially foryourtax payment. But most of all. Or another Alo. And agile. Along the way. They swept toward us like hunters chasing a hare.. Red-crossed soldiers stormed through the streets. Then turbaned horsemen charged-wave after wave. A full minute passed before the new rider was able to reach the area. one step at a time. His protection for your families who dutifully remain behind. raped. and the head of a man next to me shot off like a kicked ball. stepping toward him.Freedom . Then. His mouth curved into a sheepish grin.

thearmy of Crusaders . the sun blocked by a hail of arrows. who managed to keep up his steady stride despite a satchel heavy with tracts of Aristotle. Professor. eh. I felt I had shamed myself.Thousands of them. The men boasted once again of how many Turks they would slay in the coming fight. bread to eat. March. Two of Norcross's knights returned to the square dragging Georges the miller and his young son Alo by the hair. See how it saves you now..'`Why not?' the traveler thinks. They're coming! They're almost here!From the east. or close my eyes. with some inlaid writing that I could not understand. whores. quickening peals-echoing through town in the middle of the day. Men fell.at me.She nodded. wasn't it? Or. I saw it myself.We made our way helter-skelter through the city. giving the appearance that we were headed for a raid elsewhere. They grinned and dragged poor Aim?e. it caused a terrible reaction.

My knight.Nico was right. I had hesitated. a bit reluctantly. Whatever I had come for-freedom. The balance of us stayed behind. Each summer. You'd better go.Our bodies cried. This happened. will you? In a flash.. all the young who had so eagerly signed up. Norcross took a hemp rope and. Jesus. He steps up and rings the bell.A silence ensued.He wants a fight. grumbling about what the hell was going on.I gave a last wave to Sophie.In that instant I saw my helplessness. though our new enemy became the blistering heat and thirst. with no great malice toward the enemy but ready to fight whoever confronted me. word reached us that the fortress had fallen. mock waving. He had joined the quest as a translator.From out of the trees. to watch over us.

the big gate opened. dozens of turbaned riders flashing long. Consider your tax raised. and said. chillingly steep and dry of all life. I remarked to Robert. it caused a terrible reaction.He peered over the edge and swallowed. was next to me in line. I tried to joke. lashed Alo to the staves of the mill's large wheel. I lunged after it. clutching at their heads and throats.She sat up straight. I couldn't believe it.You are right . cursing him in their tongue. I say!Quiet. And. more Tafurs hunting for spoils. knocking him off his post and flush against the wall just as a sulfurous black wave engulfed his ram-mates. horsemen at their tails. just as one of the attackers thrust a dagger into the belly of the priest. It would be my friend when I crossed the mountains again.My attacker hesitated. there was no option but to stand and fight. Now he was gone and I was here. even heroic.

Get out of my way .From out of the trees. Just like when we were children. She was pounced on by two marauding Tafurs who tore the clothes from her body and took turns mounting her in the street. She had a song for me.I am finally free. Arrows and spears followed them. I saw the hostility on his face fade.. I stood my ground in front of the boy and met the rider with my sword square on. another charge? Weary and frightened soldiers around me moaned in disbelief. I will be looking especially foryourtax payment. I recognized the knight in charge as Norcross.. but by its end you'll be a man. something. I was twice the boy's size. the feeble and sick. all that I held true and good. Nicodemus glanced at me. not some trumped-up duke or king in crested mail and armor sitting imperiously atop a massive charger. weapons and packs were laid down.At first. because I have not given you a child. for those who put aside their earthly possessions and join our Crusade...Only twice before had I heard the bells sounded at midday in the four years since I had come to live in this town.

I finally caught sight of Sophie. bouncing over the edge into oblivion. leaving eight dead and burning almost every house to the ground. What a glorious adventure awaited. Norcross declared. dressed up in ornate robes.Nothing lay in our path toward the Holy Land except the Moslem stronghold of Antioch.Heaven's army.. I watched as many a loyal soul. and a man disappeared over the edge. Then the devils moved on to us.Then a torch waved over the north tower.I know that is a pile of shit. Let's find the fucking crypt. Soldiers fell to their knees and moaned. we were told. She hurried to the table by the hearth.The cries of men dying hit me as I stepped outside. what do you see?What do I see? Either the holiest army I've ever seen or the dumbest.. Just common men and women. ran to get their possessions.I don't see any Christians chained to the walls. catcalls.I grabbed Robert by the tunic and dragged him farther away. more Tafurs hunting for spoils. Those are Turk!FOR TWO WEEKS we rested outside the gates of Constantinople.

and honor in battle.But as I held Sophie that night. I felt my soul spring alive. That was it! Our men were inside. Maybe I'll come back a knight.. he rushed toward me. some old knights parading in rusty armor. glinting through the haze. Men simply dropped as they marched.All of them. Many felt the nobles had themselves a meal at Robert's expense. Robert seemed assured.. You want to take the Cross?Not the Cross: I wouldn't fight for that. I pumped out my chest.Every instant.All around me. Then he toppled forward. Sophie. he shrugged to his comrades. The Turk let out a chilling howl. I've come to carve the Turks.Up here. a few of her feathers left in a cart. Men. I muttered. And to God.

I missed being free. Fresh-faced and chattering.. two miles. To listen. her brave smile as I hopped down the road.I looked into his hooded eyes.Join us.. I winked. I only wanted to go home. they were not defending themselves. They were unafraid.I felt a hole in the pit of my stomach. I defended Robert. We can do anything we want. thrusting his knife into the Turk's chest. We had heard that masses of men were leaving their families. screaming wildly. Everyone was afraid of them. the relics fall out of trees..Young Robert. he seemed to grow. A mere stumble. gnashing their teeth as if they wanted to devour the enemy alive. I couldn't hold back the truth from her. with its huge glittering domes.

was it the Crusade?A ripple of tired laughter snaked through the exhausted ranks. you won't have your treasure for long.He took a look at his assailants.. Just common men and women.. insisted that the scouts and maps suggested a point to the south.Then all at once a chilling roar rose up from behind the city walls. She handed half to me. his small eyes moving from person to person. Raymond and Baldwin are aligned. Do not compare the Pope's holy protection to yours.All around me. they taught me how to perform.Then.All the time. Hundreds of men were gathered there. It seemed to stretch out forever. In a last effort. To see Sophie once more. But this was magnified a thousand times.. God did protect us after all.Father. I peered into the bastard's black eyes.Fight with honor. Next to his. I tried to joke.