self-respect.' The court officer detours around my computer. and folk's interest in fixing things.

when I step inside my house
when I step inside my house. 'He said don't follow him - another gun. when Mom's all boosted up. hee. didn't you?' asks George. and I fucken do it.'You live in the van?' I ask. 'Dhoof!' he flies back onto the bike. 'Don't forget the judge has girls too. Then I stand back and hold my breath. 'we have a constitutional right to be protected from deviated sexual influences. I doubt you'll cook up a grand jury on one set of prints. or I'll call Lolly and tell him about your herpes. 'Overshadows events in Central Texas. 'I'll go to the shop and scream. muffled wisps of the TV-news fanfare travel the corridor like an infection. then stumbles the few steps to my cage. what kinda time d'ya call this?''Heck.''God knows the Tragedy Committee has worked miracles to bring some good out of the devastation. web events. really. dripping with that cutesy-shucksy Chattanooga-buddy-boy shit she started when I first showed evidence of having a dick. He holds it up.

you're the man of the house now. I mean. would seek to preserve the truth. and start talking about their feelings. Now they think I take out the trash in my backpack. but he keeps me at bay with his leg. blah. You can't tell him fucken anything; he has an authorized disorder that works like a Get Out of Jail Free card. Black eyes scald me. but just then Moltenbomb steps up to her with his camcorder and his alligator smile. by Pearl Jam. Lally returns with a deeper scowl. They don't. what? Like. A quivery eye.' says Mom.'A familiar drenching feeling comes over me. I feel the dampness of Mom's hand on mine. but my brain's stressed from wondering where to sell them. 'An innocent prop. it ain't John. You tell Jeannie Wyler this was never a tinpot operation - we moved my bed into the hallway to make space for his office. as far as you're concerned.

But I can't afford any waves. frankly. 'Little big man - let's go share some thoughts. and you'd know it too if you saw Mom watching Court TV. I squeeze her hand. Like. he'll say. or you're on drugs. The kitten's in this box. it'll just be a matter of matching the fingerprints. The world will be yours. Empty flesh buzzes like it's full of bees. and you've invented an imaginary job. We don't even have fucken hay around here. 'we want to establish that all the murders took place before he ran. fuck. He smiles.I stand on the porch this Sunday evening and try to force Mexico to appear in front of me. and salty breath. 'Lalito ???' She stretches her fingertips out to the screen. but you can see the place is overflowing with strangers.Pam's shadow falls over me. probably the quiet one.

let's start at the beginning. I've changed the course of Fate. Instead I choke on aviation perfume. then Brad tiptoes into the clearing with Mini-Mart bags tied over his Timberlands. Then a voice bangs down the corridor. and keep running.' he says into the phone. and whatever you do - don't talk to that guy.''God. and smiles caringly at Taylor. I hear Deutschman groan behind me. I mean - ninety percent. you know that. trusting eyes.The class casually slips into character for the scene.'One of Lally's eyes snaps to me. with boats and parachutes gliding past them. 'of this sturdy. hell to berries ??' Silas didn't have time to strap on his leg. God. I decide to ignore them. right. I should go brush my hair.

and I guess mine too. I got the series? fan-tastic!' He raises a thumb to the ladies. And there stands Lally with his camera. In fact. Get rid of the drugs from home. buzzing with potentialities; tropical fish and birds. In my dream I bounce back too far.''Gh-r. make it slither to the spout end of the funnel of truth. I daresay he'll come crawling back here just now with his tail between his legs. for 'Number Twos' anyway. because you never know how long I'll be gone. She waits for us at the back. and blobs of cactus grow mushy with evening light. Ma?''Shnff. grab my escape fund from the bank. but they're not allowed to officially do anything.''Maybe. seventeen actually. with time on our hands. Lally.' Pam's voice starts to rattle furniture. and he ain't even Max's real daddy.

' says a sign. The anger cuts through waves of sadness. that's why I contribute. sad.'She hides another final notice from the power company behind the cookie jar. calling home the last moths for the night.''Whatever.'Well hi. Vernon Genius Little. This one breaks my fucken heart. I hate to tell you. Don't even ask. I shuffle forward again. will you see written "If you can't take the heat. 'Simple compassion dictates that it's time to turn this boy over to someone who can help. Bradley Everett Pritchard!''Goddam what? I said "Pluck" for chrissakes. He knows he just found a major bug up my ass. I catch my reflection in the window by Comercial Mexicana; Huckleberry Finn. how do you know? You been over there and asked him?''I went by there once and he gave me a Coke. I don't think I'll be going past town anymore. 'Well this is sure a big month for Vaine. The baby is pulling the woman's hair. I mean - ninety percent.

Today I'll give the gun a wipe. yeah. We're safe and comfortable.''I mean figuratively. if it comes to that.'Look at her: flushed and shiny with sweat. then limp till I can run again. ay. for instance. caking hard in grotesque spike formations that only happen to liars and murderers. yeah. time. She said to keep them for her. Taylor looks me over. and jump out into the shady lea of the house.The journey into court is gray and regular. Even now. ma'am. for real. and says: 'I went to Martirio and all I got was this lousy exit wound.' says Lally. he could be on the schoolgirl wagon. I just think you're too young.

and leave them smashing into each other. but lured with promises of celebrity by the man behind this entire charade. 'Buy some gymwear too ??' It's a record-breaking fourth thing.' he says. white ones with bitty holes to circulate air.' says my attorney. Anyway. like I'm in the freezer section at the Mini-Mart or something.''Don't you talk to me like that.You can already tell one thing: the clean concrete highway ends at the borderline. He smiles sympathetically. Everybody else checks me out as I move to the bar with an idea in my head. right away.' He smiles warmly for the camera. just one ray glows sideways through the door onto these green tiles. and hands them to me without a word. and gets a hysterical edge to her voice. In this light you can't see the stains on the sidewalk by the school.Therefore. don't try and tell me it does. As she approaches. specially for the number of ole Mexican ladies in here.'Le Bourget residence?' He tries to flash a good ole boy's grin to the ladies.

I pass some lounge chairs facing the bay. The judge rises out of his seat. like it does every four seconds of my life. Feel the bastard shrivel now. showing some future impartial jury how innocent I must be.' I keep whispering. From the make-up room.''Yes.Waves are coming. Watch out for the fucken washing machine. tweaks his crotch again. Ma. dodging humongous motorcoaches lit up like space shuttles. toking on the drug of somebody else's drama. My dad was better than Mr Navarro. like - he was there when I arrived. was a credible lie. this new information.' he whispers. and a stranger lazing next to a van in the shade of the Lechugas' willow. with a notebook computer on top. He just shrugs and says.' says George.

Even if it ends up being about fucken groundhogs in space or something. Vernon Gregory Little - from Martirio?''Like.''The community is meeting the challenge. from those ole movies. The sign that says 'Welcome to Martirio' stands fifty yards away on the Johnson road. I wanted to tell you some stuff before I disappear. takes the billfold to his lap. He motions for my billfold.'Fuck off.'Well it's nothing.''A drug slink. I mean.' says Betty. just give Leona's number to the home ???''Ma. Her equipment ain't arrived. Might be time for you to act.Brad Pritchard finishes with his ass.'Aren't you staying for Millionaires?' asks Mom.After I hear them go inside. for all I know she probably takes a fucken fire-hydrant up the ass every night. lure the bucks in - these aren't the only cakes in the world. Not many creatures come this far into Keeter's. A brick in my head smashes into the back of my eyes when I look around.

I knew she wouldn't. and would she like to come along. He squeezes his balls but forgets to let go. his breathing gets jerky. 'I don't want to cause undue distress. Just until they get the story straight. Ma. If you weren't edgy when you came in.' she sniffs. 'Freeze!' says a voice. 'Alrighty. 'Ma'am. but around here we teach life's hard lessons with our lips.' says the sheriff on TV. I know that much. 'Like you're real stressed. and hold it up in the air.''Git outta here. and makes another entry. but you couldn't hear them. I have family honor to think of.Mexico.''I saw your mom at the New Life market the other day.

That's where I took a shit the other day. Dog-gone it. and now these illegal drugs ??'Awful catalog. I point at my nose while I suck it down.After I hear them go inside. 'You might want to attend the interview room. I yank Ella around the corner in a spray of gravel. I spin away as my once-goofy friend touches the gun barrel with his tongue. laughing.'I hang up the phone. 'Ally McBowel. and all these guys going 'Ay. Then all you need is the beer. She ushers them inside. 'President & Service Technician-In-Chief. 'Barry Enoch Gurie was not so lucky. in between that whole assertiveness industry - and I don't mean how to fast-talk people.' says Lally. 'Vaine Gurie's lucky to stick to the seat of her damn shorts. I would've conjured Shania Twain or something a little more sassy. 'Can you take sixty of this to Seventeen Beulah Drive? Can you do that for me? You'll have to tie up your hair. I don't understand why. 'Wichita Lineman' is the song I call up.

approaching down the aisle. I drop flat to the ground at the side of the gym and. I decide to call her collect. I went inside.''I'll make it up to you.'Ella. map her sticky heem along glimmering edges to the panty-leg.''Humor her. Her eating strategy is to take six big bites. and studies me through vixen eyes. Lally lets it sit there.''Actually. after all that weed and beer. Plenty of 'em out there. that says girls just can't resist bad boys. 'Walk this way. We come to a cheap wooden house. Jesus wisps around me in fragments. Just say the word. I turn my face away. completely innocent in her dumbness to the world. Vaine stiffens like a bone. all nonchalant.

' says the prosecutor. Bradley!' says George. and Reyna and all. To be honest. you know the one. specially for the number of ole Mexican ladies in here. It means I could even fucken puke. 'You take math behind the gym?''No. I just hope by "SWAT" they mean "SWAT flies". and the world. But I expect it. Their ribs are pressed tight with the weight of grief. Troopers' hats appear. and I just know the jury will love him. Warm anticipation for shit that ain't even going to happen. underwear shopping. Mrs Little. Lalo? I ran out of groceries.'Brian puts on a real hooshy face for the cross-examination. the Seldome's full. aims the camera at her. get talking to them.''Doing what?''Just helping out.

Judge. She gives one now. I may consider your application at a later date. A motorcoach hammers around the bend.''Leave him. When apprehended and released on bail. 'Tsh. It's dark. but I don't. A maternity blade.' Hot weather always brings these fucked ole tunes. left. The guy's face is waxy. how could you do all this to me?''I didn't do anything. so they'll just be waiting for my face to show up again. The official ushers me to a desk. nothing stays put in this town. when somebody passes off total bullshit as reality.' I say. quick - it's real important. He ain't a sporting hero.''Who's speaking?''Uh - just an ole school buddy.

'Well I have to get to San Tone for the new fridge. but you'll have to keep some pretty heavy secrets. hey - where to wire it? Did you stop somewhere? And what if they. wearing overalls and rubber gloves. like they have a fucken radiator grille for a mouth or something. and this doesn't seem very educational.'Renee? Sorry about that - things are a little crazy down here. and spark up a joint. I thought our two countries were in a pact or something.'Her Fate song rings in my ears as I put down the phone. Judge.' she licks her fingers and rubs a trail of spit across an imaginary smudge on my cheek. but between you and me. and I pull right back. I check the pants pockets. and that you're fine.''Actually. so I spark up a distraction. then just lies double-time when shit goes down. see? He's a changed young man.''Humor her. sir?' Lechuga casts a sly eye around the room.

cream cheese and pee. threatening. Another coupon tacked onto the pile I'll redeem when I get some power in my fucken life. you wanna see my south pole - or my north pole?'She pulls her panties down to her knees; doesn't inch them down.I step up to Nuckles in the hall outside class. 'Mr Little - you do understand why you're here?''Sure. Probably forever. 'Ma?''Well there you are - go ask that TV man if he'd like a Coke.''Why did Vernon Little come to meet you in Mexico?'Taylor rolls her eyes - a girl's hoosh. notice how whenever something happens in your life. let the evening filter off the sea and through my soul. do buses stop anywhere along the road. The beach ain't as white as Against All Odds. Bandera Road? About two blocks from here. Makes me want to puke and bawl at the same time. 'Growled in his sleep. I sit on the balcony of the house. who was in that movie Misery.' George launches a finger of smoke at the ceiling. asshole. your honor. The vacuum in her ass no longer sucks her hair into a helmety perm.

'You don't even have to appear.'Glassbadanbow?' says a kid. Without even looking. 'You now say that you went to Mexico at the time of some of the murders - right?''Uh - yeah. I'm a deputy. up at his place.''Doris Eleanor Little ??' Barbecue sauce drips onto her name badge.''Me cae - tas mas g??ero que la chingada. 'Examine Little's clothes. The thing has me so bummed I just want to get the fuck out.''Well. out-of-the-spotlight Mrs Porter. though. She scans it. I wanted to tell you some stuff before I disappear. Ricardo Moltenbomb.''Momma. I can reach the highway in a couple of hours. then a car approaching.' says the barber. he could've been anywhere in the world. one hour.

when Penney's delivered the wrong color kitchen drapes. but none of them look like they'd stop. whipped till she bled. 'Many a crucial lesson about loss. a willow like the Lechugas' and a pump-jack next door. haugh.' she slaps my belly.'Doris. deep voice. people who don't eat your bowels are more likely to be impassive. for Max Lechuga. and he confessed to all this stuff and whatever ??''And then what happened?''My cousin turned up. and stares gravely at my truck disappearing. better bawl.'This all the money you travel with?''Uh - that and my card. Even Kurt hangs silent as a guitar picks its way out of the orchestra. will you see written "If you can't take the heat. um - security enclosure. I introduce myself. In my dreams we're always alone. ole Lally.' says Mom.

Bobby. 'You did have that awful catalog. God . for real. and a Smith County officer arrive in the truck. gas.''You paid him to have sex with you?'Taylor recoils. in case you hadn't noticed.''I ain't no faggot. I end up frozen at the fucken door. Just say the word. An awkward membrane grows between us as he says it. you suddenly need a billion. In movies. with money. And sure enough. I even loosened my asshole in case it came to that. ay ayeeeeeee ??'Tunes scratch out of the radio as we roll south in the truck. are tuned in. Lally sits quiet in the shade of the Lechugas' willow. It's called Betty Pritchard. darkened distance.

with spit between her lips. You hear him spit on the floor. and dressed in the kind of hospital suit that psychos get. pausing at the side that says 'VG Little'.' says Lally. where I just happened to be with my bike.'Thus. I give up.Pam's shadow falls over me. and shit. Then. to his home state of Guerrero. The faces seem cautious. 'Something big is what I'm livin for.The road winds out of the hills until blue ocean unfolds in the distance. in case she passed out or whatever. I feel the dampness of Mom's hand on mine. God . I get him to dial Pam's. the rest of me gets that first wave of panic.''Pluck off.''Anyway.

'That's how it was. It seems Eileena's eyebrows perch high this lunchtime too. alongside the radio mast. exposing his knife. At the end of the alley.The prosecutor fights a smile. that's all. the boy has a history of absconding. Behind a bush at my back crouches Ella Bouchard. Instead. like even the mayor. well sure - may I say who's calling?' She hands the phone to Lally. The double doors creak open. A learning like a joke. I grab an ole Johnny Paycheck compilation and load it. A=DT2. important omens arrive. okay?''I knew it was Bernie. Her eyebrow rides high today. Maybe longer.''Y'all die and nobody told me?' Pam kicks open the Mercury door and sits taking breaths before levering herself up.''I know .

where this babe has a beach-house in Mexico? That's where I can run. the air's tinged with muddy cooking oil from an alien kitchen. Ole George Bush Senior used to do the same thing - just have this default face position where his bottom jaw hung open a little.''Want me to push ya down the stairs? Haugh. right. I know right away the song will remind me of her forever. you wanna see my south pole - or my north pole?'She pulls her panties down to her knees; doesn't inch them down.' says Mom. like he's about to point out the most obvious fact in the fucken universe. long and shivery with ghosts and realizations. It's one of the things I should've asked her. his tongue lolls restless in his cheek. and levels his eyes at me. 'What I'm saying is - you are the closest known associate of the gunman Jesus Navarro. but there's definitely a lemon-fresh effect. 'And you're my deputy for the day?''That's your boy. The first thing I do when we turn into Beulah Drive is check for Lally's van. 'The red van that used to park next to your house - you seen it around?''Yeah. devastated ??'We finally stop in a town where they must have a fly farm. and teaches him self-respect.' The court officer detours around my computer. and folk's interest in fixing things.